My birth story

My life is forever changed and I can't stop smiling. I am on a constant cloud nine when I am with my son and my heart aches with love.

I have been so anxious and excited to share my birth story. It was the most intense, God-inspiring, beautiful, frightening, exhausting, painful, joyous experience I have ever been through. And honestly... I can't wait to do it again! But not ANYTIME soon. More like, 5 years from now:]

So let's get on with the story! It all started...

On Saturday October 1st at 8 am. My due date was September 26th and that day came and went and I was still pregnant. Every hour that he wasn't here felt like an eternity. Every day I woke up, Matt would ask, "So are you going to give me a baby today?" and every day there was no baby. I did everything I possibly could to get him out: I walked, ate spicy food, bounced for hours on a medicine ball and lots more. Still... NO baby. My induction date was set for Monday the 3rd and at the rate I was going, I accepted the fact that this baby wasn't going to come on his own and I was going to be induced. 

Friday evening we spent at Matt's parents watching movies. I was going to the bathroom every 15 minutes which even in my huge pregnancy state was surprisingly out of the norm. I felt completely fine other than that and had not yet had any braxton hicks. 

I woke up Saturday incredibly early (for me anyways, 8 am might as well be 5am) and I felt off. I was really nauseated and I couldn't get comfortable. Matt suggested we go to the hospital to get checked out. Since I wasn't having any contractions I felt silly going to the hospital and I didn't want to spend a few hours at the hospital just to get sent home. 

Our bags were all packed and we headed to the hospital. I am so thankful Matt convinced me to go because on our way there I got a 10 minute long contraction that did not end. I learned breathing techniques in our birthing class but because there was no break to catch my breathe, I couldn't do anything but freak out. I was clutching the handle above the door as if my life depended on it. This was the ONLY time I said a few obscenities and begged Matt to get us to the hospital NOW! Of course everyone on the road decided to drive below the speed limit at this exact moment. The whole drive over felt like a total movie cliche: pregnant wife freaking out in excruciating pain and frantic husband trying to get to the hospital as fast as he possibly could.

By the time we got to the hospital the contraction had stopped and I was able to walk and use my breathing techniques. We signed paperwork and they hooked me up to the monitors and we waited a few minutes. 

So while I am hooked up I hear the baby's heartbeat and everything with him is good. I however was a different story. My blood pressure was dangerously high, I had preeclampsia (which is incredibly dangerous and the only cure is to deliver the baby) and I had low platelets in my blood. With all of that and the contractions I was having, the doctor told us they were definitely keeping me. Matt looked at me with complete joy and said, "We are going to have a baby today!!" We called our families and told them I was officially in labor! We got set up in our room and I got to get hooked up to IV's. 

At this point I was still not feeling any contractions and I was dilated at 3cm. I thought it would be a good time to get my epidural before I could start feeling pain. Because my platelets were right at the border of being too low, the anesthesiologist  wasn't comfortable giving me an epidural. I started panicking because not getting an epidural was never part of the plan. I prepared myself for it not to work but not even getting it at all really scared me. Luckily my doctor was fantastic and she convinced the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural! As excited as I was, I was still really nervous about the procedure. I have seen so many movies when women  are in labor and the needle is always obscenely huge. 

The entire procedure didn't take more than 15 minutes and it wasn't as bad as I thought! The worst part was when the tube was inserted, it brushed up against some nerves and it sent what felt like an electrical shock down my leg. So not fun. 20 minutes later I felt amazing. We put on Anchorman and settled in. 

Hours went by and not much changed. I was put on Pitocin to speed up my contractions, along with Magnesium Sulfate to bring my blood pressure down, my regular IV fluids and the epidural medicine. 

The further I progressed I started feeling pain with my contractions on the lower part of my stomach. They kept giving me different doses of medicine for the pain in hopes of finding the right combination to make the pain go away. It would work for a few hours but then the pain would come back. 

My water had still not broken so they sent for the doctor to come and break it. No sooner that they call for the doctor that I felt something. Since I had just received my epidural medicine I honestly thought I was peeing! It was so embarrassing. I told the nurse and she checked me and said, "No your water broke. And WHOA that is a lot of fluid!" Yeah... it went on for FOREVER, well... it felt like forever.

Now that my water broke the contractions started getting really intense. The doctors were still trying to get the right dose of medicine to numb me completely but in doing so I was getting quite loopy. Matt watched the monitor to let me know when a contraction was coming so I could brace myself and start breathing.

Matt's mom and my mother were there the whole time. I distinctly remember Matt's mom cheering me on and telling me how good I was doing.  

By this point I had been given SO much medicine that I could not stay awake at all. I felt like someone gave me way too many sleeping pills. Matt would wake me up when I would get a contraction and walk me through it until I reached the peak and then he would tell me when it would start going down. By the time the peak was over I would completely pass out. This went on for an hour or so. 

It was around 2 am and I was around 7-8cm dilated when Fenix's head started descending. Now, every contraction I felt up until this time was painful, but I could breathe through them and I didn't feel like I was dying. I never cried, screamed or yelled at Matt. This pain I felt when he started coming down was a whole new level of pain that I had never felt. It almost brought me to tears and I didn't know if I could do it. The anesthesiologist gave me a dose of medicine one last time before I would start pushing... and PRAISE THE LORD it worked!! I would get contractions and I couldn't feel anything! 

I was able to sleep for awhile which was amazing. An hour later and I got woken up by the nurse telling me I was 9 cm and if I wanted to I could start practicing pushing. I looked around and saw the nurses getting the room ready. I was still drugged out of my mind and had a ridiculously hard time staying awake. 

The next thing I knew Matt was waking me up and they told me I was ready, it was time to push. It really scared me, that because I was so drugged that I may not be able to push effectively or push at all. The nurse also told my mom and MIL that they could call my family and let them know it was going to take 1-2 hours for the baby to come which is normal for first time moms.

It was 4:55 in the morning and I started pushing. Within 2 pushes his head was already coming out. The nurse told us, "Well I think this baby will be born at 5:00". Everyone was in shock and started calling everyone to let them know Fenix was coming NOW! I pushed for 5 more minutes and he was almost out. All I heard was my mom and MIL gasping and crying and encouraging me that he was almost here. One more push and then...

My son was born.

I waited my entire life for this moment and I could not believe that he was real, that he really did exist and wasn't a dream.

I carried him for 10 months and 5 days. 

I was in labor for 20 hours and pushed him out in 10 minutes. 

He came out completely calm and wide eyed. When they placed him on my chest he didn't make a peep and instead just stared at me, as if he knew that I was his mommy. The nurses had to poke him quite a bit to get him to cry but when he did a loud wail was heard and we knew he was alright. 

His dad and both Grandmas witnessed him coming into this world and it forever changed their lives. All I could hear was uncontrollable crying from all of them as the nurses checked him out. 

He was born at 5:06 in the morning.

He had 10 fingers and 10 toes. 

He weighed 8 pounds, 2 ounces and was 21 inches long. 

He had a little bit of jaundice but other than that he was perfectly healthy.

Matt and I were in complete awe of him and we could not believe that we created something so beautiful and perfect. We fell more in love with each other that day.

Words can never describe all the emotions I felt throughout this whole experience. It was so profoundly life changing and is the reason I came into this world. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I prayed for this child. I wanted nothing more in life than to be a mom. To raise my child with my husband and watch him grow up. 

I can't thank God enough for this beautiful blessing. I am so honored and so proud to be a mom. It is everything I envisioned and so much more.