He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

This was taken on our wedding day at our church. Oh how He loves us!

With Fenix's dedication coming up next weekend, I have found myself filled with so much hope. I am so excited for Fenix to know Jesus! I can only pray that one day he will choose to follow Him. It will be my job to teach him all that I know and we are already starting by reading him children's books about the bible. I hear this song (I cry every time I listen to it, it is so moving) and I think of my son. These words really strike a chord in my heart.

In open fields of wild flowers,

she breathes the air and flies away

She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses

in no simple language

Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips

Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call her and she will come running

and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"



God is so good!

Holey moley, me-oh-my, you're the apple of my eye

Seeing my soon-to-be husband for the first time on our wedding day, is something I will never forget. 

The photographs really show the joy we truly felt.

January 15th, 2010.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. 

Louis De Bernieres

So brown eyes I hold you near...

...cause you're the only song I want to hear.

I am still in shock that it has been three whole months since Fenix has been born. In just a month he has changed SO much and is doing so many new things.

The newest and most hilarious is his voice. He has found it and.. 

He.Won't.Stop.Yelling.

He has also discovered his feet, hands, tongue and his toys are now fascinating to him. He is teething and drooling like crazy. I always have drool on my shirts, it's way cute.

Fenix is now getting stranger anxiety and we are having a hard time leaving him with anyone other than Matt and I. We went to lunch and a movie a few days ago and we left him with his Grandma and Great Grandma and he basically cried the whole time and napped only for a few minutes. As soon as we got home and he saw us, he was completely fine. I know it is just a phase but it still is stressful and I hate knowing that I am leaving my screaming baby with someone.

Today we started putting him in his crib for naps and he is currently crying his head off. Fenix is a champ when it comes to sleeping at night. We have got night time down like clockwork. He also takes his morning nap in his swing for 2-3 hours and always goes down without one peep. When it comes to afternoon naps, if we try and put him in his swing, bouncer or anywhere other than my arms he flips out. So for basically a month his naps are taken on me. I know it is our fault but we can only tackle so many things at once. Nighttime sleep was a huge adjustment and now that it is under control we have to focus on naps and it is going to be tough. It is our job as parents to make those hard decisions because we know what is best for that little stinker. 

On a happier note, my sweet baby boy is being dedicated at WACC on January 29th. My heart beams with joy every time I think about it. That day holds lots of meaning: it's my birthday and I will be turning 25 and last year on my birthday we announced that we were expecting! WACC is also so special to us. I was saved there, the first time I met Matt was there and we got married there. Our little family has so much history with that church and now we will be raising our boy in the church. I can't wait for his dedication and I know I am going to be one proud mama.

On an even happier note, Fenix finally fell asleep as I was typing this. It only took 30 minutes of crying but he has now been asleep for 25 minutes! That is a record for napping on his own. 

This year is definitely starting off splendidly! I get to spend everyday with my little man, what more can I ask for?

So this is the new year...

I thought 2010 was the best year of my life.

I had NO idea what was in store for 2011.

It was another year of many firsts & it is overwhelming to think of all that I have experienced in ONE year.

In 2011,

 I celebrated one year of being a wife.

I found out I was pregnant.

I heard my baby's heartbeat & saw my baby move during the ultrasound for the first time.

I found out we were having a boy & cried. 

A lot.

I felt Fenix kick for the first time on Mother's Day. 

I watched my belly grow & grow every day.

I was so swollen & puffy for 3 months straight.

I was also 5 days overdue, which might as well have been 10 years.

I gave birth.

I fell deep in love with my son & fell in love all over again with my husband.

I became a mother.

We celebrated Fenix's first Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas.

I watched my son grow from a teeny tiny newborn to an incredibly chunky, smiley, healthy almost 3 month old.

And I loved and learned more than I could have ever thought possible.

I am not a fan of resolutions.

Instead I am just making promises.

To my husband,

I promise to love you and tell you everyday how much I love you...

a minimum of 10 times.

I promise to give our marriage 110%. Always.

And to my son,

I know you can't read this but just know,

not a day will go by that I won't give you a million kisses, cuddles, snuggles, hugs, raspberries on your belly, nibbles on your hands & toes or tell you I love you.

All of these will happen at least a dozen times a day. 

My only request, if at all possible...

Please don't grow up so fast.

You will always be my baby. 

No matter what.

I am really excited for 2012.

It is going to be another year of firsts: Disneyland trips, going to zoos & aquariums, a first birthday. 

Life is beautiful.

And with that, here are some of my favorite pictures of the year.

Courtesy of Michelle's Cake House. Delish.

I had no idea I was pregnant here!

The day we found we were expecting!

Mother's Day.

The day we found out we were having a boy.

Sweet baby profile.

Our maternity shoot.

Baby shower invitations.

My baby shower... and incredible puffiness.

Fenix's first picture.

Meeting for the first time.

First family photo. I was drugged out of mind here.

First Thanksgiving.

First Christmas!

Last picture of the little man in 2011!

Goodbye 2011. You will truly be missed and known for the best year of my life.

Hello 2012!